Time savers

I have been thinking about ways I waste my time. I love to sleep, if I were so blessed I would sleep as often as my cat. Unfortunately, I have things that must be done. The question is why? I know I am wasting my time doing such things. Here a few I may cut out of my day.

Cleaning my sons room: I must spend 3 hours a week doing this and for what? I get it all cleaned up and I watch him on the video monitor DESTROY it. All the things I have neatly placed in baskets and bins are dumped out immediately!!! I am watching him as I write this. The demon spawn is removing items one by one and placing them back to the middle of this bedroom floor. He must want his mom to break her toe!! Maybe he just prefers to live amongst a chaotic mess (he is his fathers son)

Feeding the family: I put forth a great effort to feed my family healthy and delicious meals. For some reason within an hour of me feeding them, I am changing a diaper and/or opening a window and spraying air freshner in the bathroom. What a waste of time and money. Think of how much money would be saved if I only fed them sporadically throughout the week. Not to mention the savings on the sewer bill, diapers, toilet paper and air freshner. I may be onto something with this idea. How much food is really necessary to sustain human life? Third world countries only eat once a week, if they are lucky!

Grooming my child: This takes an inordinate amount of time. Bathing, trimming nails and toes, washing clothes, brushing teeth. Lets start with bathing; he is two! Aren’t two year olds supposed to be dirty, I could save myself a half hour a night by just avoiding this ritual. Nail and toe clipping, if they get long enough they will just break off, so why waste my limited time. The laundry, c’mon, he outgrows his clothes so fast that instead of washing drying and folding, I should just make a quick trip to Target and get him a few new duds to wear. Brushing his teeth, this is a big one as far as time goes. I have to convince him he wants to brush his teeth, and then spend a long time fighting the toothbrush out of his clenched teeth, aren’t they going to fall out anyways?

Well my faithful few, I think I may have just found a way to get more sleep!! So for all you moms who do not have enough “me” time; I implore you to use follow these helpful tips yourself. I am more helpful than Martha Friggin’ Stewart!