Butter

I believe my brain does not function the same as most people. I get strange and impossible impulses in my mind. I cannot and will not let these ideas dissipate. I must complete whatever oddity my subconscious has dreamed up. The other day was no exception.

Out of the clear blue I decided I was going to make homemade butter. Yes my faithful few, just like the days of yore.

I was obsessed with locating the perfect “butter making jar”. I had no idea what type of jar this should be, I have never made homemade butter before. I couldn’t let that stop me. After spending hours cleaning out a pickle jar (nothing could be worse than butter with a pickle smell) I was ready to embark on my mission. Major problem, how the hell do you make homemade butter? Google HELP!

I sent my hubby out to the market to buy me some heavy cream. I poured the cream in the jar, added a touch of salt and began to shake. I continued to shake; I kept shaking the damn jar! I looked into the jar, and the feeling of failure took over my body. NO, I CAN DO THIS!!. Wait a minute, I just made whipped cream, hhmmm, must be close, keep shaking stupid! (as my body was thrashing I was singing little diddies in my head, this does help with the butter making process) The substance became powdery, shake harder, keep going. Wait a minute, the milk has gone to the top. I open my jar and there it is SUCCESS, beautiful creamy butter.

After all the physical strain I put my body through a normal individual would have thought great job, mission accomplished. But hell no…not me! I sent the hubby back out for more cream. This time I added a touch of Honey and Maple syrup to my concoction, yummy! I am not into sweet butter. Poor husband had to go back to the store. He was armed with a list; scallions, basil, garlic and dill. My herb butter was hit!

When I told my co-workers about my awesome achievement they sat dumfounded, listening with disbelief (and I would like to add probably a touch of envy…yeah, that’s right, envy!) and insisted that they must try some. Hubby just came back from the market. Take Two!.