aging

I believe I have come up with a mathematical improbability, and impossibility. I am no mathematician but the equation I have been pondering seems to have no answer. My brain is spinning as I type this, maybe one of my faithful few will have the answer.

Pay attention, take notes and grab your calculators!

How is it my circle of friends have reached the age spectrum of 35-45? They are complaining about grey hairs, and extra 10 lbs, not having the energy they used to and (gasp) spider veins. This is where your math skills come into play; ready…I have not aged since my 25th birthday. I know, some of you say phooey, impossible, but I only speak the truth.

There is more to this perplexing puzzle, others do not see me as the sexy 25 year old I know I am. The cashier at the market had the audacity to call me “ma’am. “Hello, perky breasted 22 y/o, get an eye exam!” The asshole bartender who was obviously having a bad day, hence leading to the negligence in his duty, did not ask me for my i.d – WHAT are you kidding me??!!. I whipped out my newly minted ID rudely and stated “read this you stupid lard ass, I barely look 21, there is no way you could ever guess I am of drinking age! I think the alcohol police better look into the business you are running!”

The worst offender was my friends’ teen age son. He informed he is attending 80’s theme party, and the little dickens must have thought he was funny when he asked for my advice on what to wear. As if I would have any clue!

To all my friends, you are all beautiful and growing old with class and grace. I hope when I reach your age I can look half as good as you. Love you all!