Poor me

A tragedy has hit my life – I mean it my faithful few, a gross travesty! I have nothing to lament over. I truly miss saying poor pitiful me. I do not know if these feelings are “normal” but they are mine. Fore some odd reason I enjoy making those around me miserable with my poor attitude.

First, I would walk scuffling my feet thinking I am in my early thirties and not married (little did I know at the time that was NOTHING to be sad about). Check that one off my list for the pity party.

Then it was I have been married for 5 years, poor me, guess I will be childless, how truly upsetting. Well, we all know that is no longer the case. Chalk it up for one less poor me moment.

After the baby, I would walk around thinking, I am smart and talented, why won’t anyone hire me? There must be something very wrong with me. I must suck. Why can’t I even get a call back on my resume? Surely I am a horrible resume writer, oh boy pathetic ol’ me. I got a great job that I love, hmm, guess I am not so pathetic.

So here I sit, trying to find something to bitch about. Attempting to locate what it may be that I can spring upon my husband to inform him of the misery that is my life. I am at a complete loss, so not like me.

I could afford to lose a few pounds. I think I will drop that bomb on my husband. I will let him know that I am completely upset and heartsick regarding the fact I have put on a few pounds. I will be sure to bitch and mope about this for the next 3 months. He will be blasted with it at least three times a day. What fun is it to be miserable without taking someone down with you?!