At a red light the other day, I look to my right, I see a woman in a nice Lexus with a cute toddler safely strapped into its car seat. What I saw next made me want to run out and slap the mother. She cracks the passenger side window about one inch and lights up a cigarette. Mind you I am the last one to get on my soapbox and preach about smoking, but NEVER do I smoke in the car with my child or anywhere around him.

I find it is difficult for people to keep their traps shut about the way others raise their children, but we must all learn to do it.

If a child is well fed, clean, healthy and not being beat, we all as a society need to learn self control. The worlds children do not belong to us.

Since having a child of my own the realization that everyone else on the planet is an expert on child rearing has become apparently clear (from the checkout girl to the bank teller). It is obvious I am the only one in the universe that has not mastered the art.

I do not need my actions on how to raise my child justified by the general public. Trust me, I see your evil looks, I am more than aware of your mouth moving and no words emitting from it. I see you nudge your friend and point, but all I have to say to you is shut the f&%ck up!

So, all you backseat moms, please… keep your opinions on safety, discipline, nutrition and vaccinations to yourself. It is my call as to whether or not I want to remove my child from target during a screamfest. I will decide if it is ok for him to run and splash through the puddles. If he does not want to share his new truck with Johnny, then so flippin be it!

A “friend” called me up the other day after my husband had done some electrical work for her. The phone rings, I check the caller ID and answer with a jaunty “hello”. I thought for sure she would be telling me to thank Mike for the work he performed and informing how great it was to see the baby. But, NNNOOOOOOO, my impartial mood went from disbelief to anger when these words were spewed “You know, I didn’t want to say anything, but I think I have to, that child of yours really needs a good spanking on the ass, he doesn’t listen” I whimped out, I ended the conversation quickly. I was awed, I didn’t know how to respond. Luckily for her I didn’t have any alcohol coursing through my system, it wouldn’t have ended well for her.

After the phone conversation, I thought of many things I should have said, it was all I could do not to pick up the phone and tell her that she needs to keep her pie hole shut (peppered, of course, with some profanity). Instead I just hugged my child, told him he is perfect and that I love him.

One last thing….I truly believe most parents have the best intentions. We all must choose our battles. The next time you are in public and run into the worst behaved child on the planet, remind yourself (before the evil thoughts enter your mind) that this is just a parent doing the best they can, and hey, at least at this moment my child in a cherub.