Mom vs Kite

I am once again going to dole out some free advice to my faithful few. I implore you to heed it. Here is my story.

It was a picturesque evening at the beach. The sun was setting, wind was blowing, it was not a chilly wind, it was perfect temperature. The tide was low and gave us plenty of room to run around flying a kite. What could possible go wrong?

My ever suffering hubby and I got the kite ready; my son was smiling from ear to ear, he was gleefully chirping kite, kite! My husband got the kite up and flying, he gingerly placde the handle into my sons eagerly waiting little hands. He held on tight to his prized kite (for about 5 seconds). Then he screams OH NO! And you know what came next. There I was an almost 40 y/o woman chasing a kite down the beach. Mind you this is no easy talk, I would think to myself I got it, then no sooner the handle of string would jump another two feet. This kite was mocking me. It is a sinister and evil piece of plastic. This exercise in woman versus kite went on for about 2 mins. I thought for sure the kite was gone as it ascended higher in to the heavens. Fortunately it got caught up in a bush and I was able to detangle the string and return the beloved kite back to my boy.

One should have learned their lesson after this adventure, but no me. I am a glutton. How cute it was watching the boy hold his kite smiling into the sky. We let him hold it again, and you guessed it, another battle was waged between mom and the fucking spider man kite! I leaped over sea grass, I bounded over divets in the sand full of water, I climbed over prickly bushes, and yes, once again I was the victor!

This kite and I have a special relationship, it knows I hate it. But it is also wise to the fact I cannot kill it. If I do the latter it would cause my son deep sadness. The stupid spiderman kite and I certainly will go another round. It does not know who it is messing with. I may look like an out of shape woman in my very late 30’s. However, raging inside me is a true despiser of this kite. I will never let it win, NEVER! It will not and cannot beat me down.

For the elderly couple watching this display I apologize for the fowl language and almost taking you out with an elbow jab. In my defense, you should have moved out of the way. Didn’t my look of sheer determination give you pause to think. I was hell bent, I was blinded with rage, the kite would be returned to its rightful owner.

The moral of this tale is NEVER not even once, let a two year old hold a kite alone! I would like to save others from the suffering I had to go through at the hands of the kite!