Mommy

I love being a mom. My son brings me happiness and is teaching me how wonderful life is each day. However, my faithful few, I am going to be truthful. Being a mom can really SUCK!

Out of the 24 hours in a day I probably feel complete bliss and peace with my child for about 1 hour of them. Oh please…if you do not admit the same you must be on some heavy duty drugs, or your kid is! My child is only two, and I am told it gets better, but thus far, the light has not shone on the end of my tunnel.
Billy is absolutely beautiful, bit blue eyes, blonde hair, and infectious laugh and a smile that lets him get away with anything. But then there is the TRUE Billy, the monster within….

He will run to you and wrap his teeny arms around you in a sweet offering of affection, don’t let him fool you, the little cherub is plotting...he really wants fling your glasses from your face and watch you blindly crawl on the floor fumbling your way through mounds of dog hair to locate them. He does this with a shit eating grin on his face.

He will come to you with a favorite toy, he will gently ask you to “play”. You gleefully accept, excited and proud that he is behaving so wonderfully. Two minutes into what you believe is a bonding and learning experience, the little boy whips his cars to the floor and begins a monster dance on them, screaming like a wild banshsee. You run in fear, taking cover under the nearest door way to avoid the path of destruction the tornado will surely leave.

I could go on forever, but I am sure you get the point. The next time I find myself in the unfortunate situation of being surrounded by a group of stepford moms who are ooing and aaawing over the “joys” of motherhood, I think I will reach up with a nerf hammer and begin bashing them thouroughly about their heads and upper torsos. While they are distracted I will reach into their diaper bags and grab myself a handful of their “happy” pills…hey maybe being a mom could be great every minute of every day….I really need to get me some of those meds.