Married to God

It is very difficult being a mere mortal married to a god. My husband is all knowing (just ask him). He has so many talents, that there just isn’t enough room on this blog page to list them all.

We needed to go to a Wal-Mart two towns over today. MY Wal-Mart didn’t have a “must have” item in stock. I say to God “You know how to get there?” “Yes” he replies. Well, naturally he knows the route, after all, he is god.

The baby is strapped in the car seat and we pull out of the driveway. I (being silly as can be, questioning god) grab the GPS navigator out of the console and type in our destination. God looks at the mortal and states “We don’t need that, put it away, and be sure to power it all the way down or the thing will not stop jabbering”. I obey, away goes the GPS.

This is important my faithful few, remember I stated the Wal-Mart was only two VERY small towns away. After driving for about 30 minutes, I have the unmitigated gall to pose the question, “Are you sure you are going the right way?” HHHmmm, you would have thought I asked him if the sky was falling. Of COURSE we are going the right way. He did not see any signs to get off the highway. Me, and my stupid mouth felt it necessary to inform him that I had been to the store before and he was going the wrong way. That is a statement God never wants to hear. I must be mistaken, there is no way I could possibly know how to get to the destination.

A one point, when the signs were welcoming us to another state (yes this is true) he pulled over. He was not happy about having to give into the fact he was wrong. (Well, technically HE wasn’t wrong, the idiots who post the highway signs were wrong). I informed him that he should have listened to me. I believe he muttered something to the affect “If you don’t stop gloating I am going to slam the breaks on this car going 30 MPH”. (Oh yeah I am one lucky lady to have found God)

He finally ceded and let the GPS do it job. We arrived safely. But God was in a bit of snit. Yet again, I had to open my mouth and say “I told you so”. I just could not let it go. Why on earth would this man not use the GPS from the get go? I do not understand the thinking behind it.

I guess God would rather spend money on gas and valuable time driving down the highway to nowhere. Needless to say, we are still not getting along. This is one pissed off God. I guess me, the mere mortal, knowing one tidbit of information is enough to smack his ego out of whack. He may be pissed that I will not “let it go”. But I plan on riding this wave until the bitter end, smiling inside. Ha ha God – Take that!